aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
