Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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