All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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