If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
