It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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