I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
now i know why i became what i already was.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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