return my video game
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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