I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
