8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
