I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
