Yo dont text me then not text me
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
