i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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