Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We have started to decorate penises.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
