we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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