we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Sorry about my life...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
