just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
