I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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