$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
