considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
