IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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