i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
