Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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