3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
