Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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