she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
