I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
