Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
