But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
