Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize