I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
