He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
