I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
