if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
