I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
