Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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