Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
