end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
How's work?
Spinning.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
