the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
