Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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