"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
