You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
