Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
