Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
