i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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