No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
