And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
