That's when you crack a 10am beer
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
