After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
