Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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