idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
