she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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