Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
