Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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